Leaving a Legacy

Hello Readers!  In the midst of wedding planning and studying during the semester, unfortunately the blog has dropped low on my priorities.  Sorry I haven’t had time to update along the way.  With all that’s been going on I’ve been running on auto pilot, going from one thing to the next on my checklist.  It’s not until something happens out of your control, that causes you to drop everything you are doing and go a different direction, that you realize the humor of the statement, “If you wanna make God laugh, tell Him your plans for the day.”

This week I received a call during clinical that grandma had gone into another fainting episode that she never came out of and only had a short time left to live.  The hardest part was watching the goodbye tears of the workers who had grown to love her so much during her stay in the Alzheimer’s home.  It made me think about the legacy that grandma has left behind in the hearts of so many people.

Ryan and I are currently taking marriage classes through church and recently discussed contentment and the things that are truly lasting in this world.  If we were honest with ourselves, its disheartening how many times our anger probably stems from the discontentment of our hearts when comparing what we have to others.  It’s not until the death of someone who impacted your life and who you loved, that you truly understand people are not going to remember the amount of your paycheck, type of job, education, home, or status you had.  For if that was all you held in importance, there will probably be many who will not even notice your absence once you’re gone.  What people will remember in this life is the love of Christ in your life.  I pray that I am remembered as a wife who brought my husband closer to the Lord by the respect, love, and godliness I displayed (1 Peter 3:1), that I taught my children to do everything in life for His glory and to fear the Lord (Prov 31:30), and that I was a friend who loved and listened (1 Cor 13).   

While grandma will be missed by many, I know that she is dancing with Jesus…not regretting anything she did not have in this short life.         

Positivity

Life is hard.  No matter what financial or relational situation you are in, life at some point will have its hardships.  It’s inevitable.  If we had perfect lives and no trials, we would think there would be no need for a redeemer in our lives. 
It’s so easy when you are in the midst of those trials and tribulations to want to get out of them as quickly as possible.  Find the back door and exit.  Commit your focus to something else to help you forget. Anything else.  
I once heard that so many times we cheat ourselves from increasing our faith and trust in Christ because we never allow Him the opportunity in our lives to prove Himself faithful.  We are too quick to take matters into our own hands, each time decreasing our faith instead of increasing it.  It makes you wonder what great plans God may have had for your life if you hadn’t disrupted it because you were inpatient? 
However, take a more recent situation in your own or someone else’s life.  One that caused deep hurt.  A broken engagement, death of a loved one, divorce, ruined friendship….how could there be any good in those situations?  The hurt runs deep.  Wounds are fresh.  Feelings are real.  It certainly doesn’t feel like God is anywhere near you or the situation.  How could He possibly be working in it and your life? 
There have been times where I have questioned what God’s plan could be, and why He hadn’t stepped in to change things the way I thought they should go.   There seemed to be no light at the end of the tunnel.  Reflecting on what He may have wanted me to learn from the situation only turned into the debilitating and endless mind game of what I wish I would have done.  “If only I had…”  But its over and done with.  There is no going back.  There was a reason it turned out the way it did.  What I realize now is that I’m grateful I followed Gods best and didn’t end up compromising due to how I felt. I can easily see God’s handiwork in my life when looking back. 
I cling to that reasoning now.  I see how my thoughts and opinions on God’s guidance protected me in my past, and pray that His sovereign hand will continue to guide my future.  I may not understand it or truly ever see the reasoning behind things.   But I can trust that God knows and wants the very best for my life, and He has a plan for His children.  The very best plan.  I think that should be enough for me to rest in and keep positivity in my life.